I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
