i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
