Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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