So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
