i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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