did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Randomize
