Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
