you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
