Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I just found puke in my bra..
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
