we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
