And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
