You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
