New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
