all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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