so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I hope mine doesn't look like that
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
