I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Randomize
