take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
It's no shave November. This is our time.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
