who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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