I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
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