dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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