it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
