the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
she smelled like a LAN party
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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