Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
That was an excessively violent trivia night
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
