i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Randomize
