That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
