i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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