no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
