I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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