she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
