No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
