so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
