**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
