somebody snuck up and got me drunk
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
