You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
