I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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