She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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