I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
