I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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