I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
