he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize