what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
