all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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