Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
