How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
