I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize