the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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