I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
