just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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