You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
