KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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