Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
