Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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