And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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