..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
