if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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