im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
