He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize