Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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