At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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