How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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