Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Dear god my vagina.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
