capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
She announced her abortion via fbk
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
