thus making me awesome and them whores
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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