Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
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